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Less talk, more action
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2,734 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Yes, its a shocker but I just picked this up a couple of hours ago.... for the tidy sum of £000.00.... and I think I was ripped off!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present thee with

"PROJECT SHITTER"

Bought for a total of £00.00 with about 9 days Mot and a months tax.... this fiecrcesome weapon comes with a few choice mods, but will be undergoing extensive work in the forth coming er.... week. Spec currently as follows:

ENGINE
1400cc 8v with obligitory clattering tappets and so worn its probably a 2700cc
17 million miles miles, no oil change and highly likely.... no oil.
Performance drilled exhaust

GEARBOX
5/4 speed manual, 3rd just grinds so 2nd to 4th is the plan
Syncromesh removed for weight saving

WHEELS/TYRES
Healthy mix of remoulds and Kwik Fit "6 for a quid" specials
Race spec steel rims with £9.99 Aldi wheel trims

SUSPENSION
Debateable

INTERIOR
Stage one race spec.... ie, no radio, no heaters and various trims broken
McDonalds wrappers, fag ash and some mud

BODYWORK
5 door hatchback with colour coded bumpers
Gaffa tape assisted door mirrors
Carbon style boot lid with cool spolier
Leightweight panels, aka healthy corrosion
Body mouldings, aka a fook off big dent or twelve

PERFORMANCE
No, not really





FUTURE PLANS
Run it for a week, run it into a tree then set fire to it

I'll keep the thread updated with various fields we visit, how well it burns and how long the engine will last when we piss in it....

:lmao:
 

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VXons resident Priest
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3,965 Posts
Not a bad deal that!
 

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Premium Member
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3,845 Posts
I use to have one of those, it was one of the worst cars i have driven :rolleyes:
 

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VXON's middle-aged lesbian.
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28,825 Posts
You've been tucked up Dave.
 

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8v Power!
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10,748 Posts
poor car :( see if you can fix her for nowt lol
 

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Registered
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3,531 Posts
Those Escorts don't look too bad from outside - it's just when you look inside and see the interior.

I was given a Lada for free once and it gave over 6-years of good service - do you reckon yours will be able to do that?? ;)
 

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CavWeb's Official Penis!
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5,913 Posts
Shame as I have just aquired exactly the same car and TBh am rather fond of it..Much better than yours but then I did actually pay for mine, albeit only £40.
 

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Premium Member
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634 Posts
If you really want to destroy it I can get hold of Gav and Sibbald for you. JCB's and explosives will make short work of that thing.
 

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Registered
Joined
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9,487 Posts
nothing wrong with aldi wheel trims! :smile_2:

re: mk5 register, it is now the FEOC (Ford Escort Owners Club) iirc. Not sure even they would want to know about this particular piece of artwork though.
 

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8v Power!
Joined
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10,748 Posts
just requires some tlc... ok, maybe alot... but still....
 
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