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At a bit of a 'last minute thing' i managed to re-arrange a few things so i could go to this years Billing.

It didn't start too well, I was planning on leaving Friday lunchtime, however due to a meeting that became Friday afternoon!!. Eventually left Canary Wharf just after 4pm and had to fight traffic most of the way, but arrived at billing around 6.30pm.

A quick pitch of the MASSIVE tent, change of clothing, open a beer just in time to sample some of Alex's expert BBQ action. Costco burgers rock, and i have to say Alex did a very good job of all the cooking over the weekend, for that he should get a special round of applause :high5: :lmao:

Over the next couple of hours the rest of the VxON massive arrived, no idea in what order as i wasn't taking too much notice and to be honest it isn't really that important.

As the beer was flowing and the sun was setting some of us decided it was time to hit the Billing night life. With a quick splash of knacker lacquer we were off. Unfortunately the 'door staff' at Billing are not the sharpest tools in the box and giving them an entrance ticket upside down means a 3 minute wait while they work out why they cannot read it. But eventually we were in. The 10 piece band was playing away, however we thought it was a bit unfair the other 8 must have been hidden in a back room as although you could hear the drummer 'et al' we couldn't see them.

Drink flowed, conversation stayed high brow and the clunge was lacking, but the company made up for it. We returned to the camping ground around 1am, but rather than fire up the BBQ we went for cheese rolls all round and bed around 2am!

Saturday dawned a bright and breezey day. Alex did another smashing job of cooking bacon and a few more campers arrived.

We all decided to check out the show and jumble so trotted off for a walk. I found the firm that would tint my car 'while you wait' so booked it in for later. Again the clunge factor was fairly low but the sun and interlectual conversation made up for it.

The rest of Saturday consisted of beer, burgers, sticker action, walking back and forward to see if the tints were done, sunburn, cream spraying, wishbone changing and more discussions on nuclear physics.

Saturday night was again another trip to the Billing pub, via the 'fun' fair. I managed to double team the grab machine and got Ned Flanders and Marge Simpson. Once in the pub we found a bench which the management had kindly left some toys for us to play with. Big bubbles and a Jackass bow and arrow moments was intespersed with moral and interlectual conversation. The main one being if you've been with a 'hottie' for 8 years, why wouldn't you marry her?.

JP did some table dancing and Jim appeared with not one but 2 rather attractive friends, although he was very non committal when asked that as they were girls and friends were they his 'girlfriends'? He did go red so make up your own mind.

Eventually we got back to the tents at around 130am to find Matt fannying about with the BBQ. Alex took charge and we all got some meat. We also had a Total Vauxhall photo shoot at 230am, once it became clear it wasn't just a random Jock with a camera on the ponce for a burger but was indeed TurboDave!! :lmao:

Bed soon called and the generator was switched off around 3!!

Sunday dawned a little overcast, and for thise up in time, there was a little rain. This soon went and a glorious sunny windy day followed. More bacon perfectly cooked by Alex and a further stroll round the show followed. It was a little disapointing that we put the dog of a white mk2 Cavalier forward for the chairmans cup, but i suppose the 'rat look' is something some like!! :lmao:

With the threat of a nightmare in Silverstone traffic around 230pm along with a few others it was time to say screw you guys i'm going home. Luckily i timed it right and was home around 4pm, tired, warm but feeling happy inside :D

All in all it was another fantastic weekend, did take some photos, but they are mainly of old sh!tters, erm sorry classic cars, for Mark, once i get round to it i'll post them up. VxON is a friendly buch of boys and girls who make it a good laugh. There is plenty of high class conversation, but hopefully it gets taken in the comedy way it was meant.

Special thanks, in no particular order, go to Mark for buying the food, Matt & Nick for the organisation, Matt for his perma-erect nipples and Action Man comedy tent, the ladies for not attacking me with pepper spray, everyone with a half decent car for putting up with the p!sstake, Alex for the cooking and the crack and JP for being JP :lmao:

So if you'll have me i'll be there next year

And theeeeeen?? :lmao: :lmao:

Back in the saddle... with a big feck off van.
1,972 Posts
Sounds ace, Phil - really wish we could have been there this year. I will have to make sure that I have no gigs that weekend next year - I want to see you in all your clungehunting glory!
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