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Discussion Starter #1
Zafira GSi Manual Help Required

The wife has just bought me the Haynes book of lies for my Zaffy.

It states that it's for vehicles from Feb 98 to Apr 04.

Is this going to be any use at all for my 06 plate GSi?:grrr

I can't find any reference to the Z20LET anywhere, so should I keep hold of it for bodywork removal, general electrics etc or throw it back at Halfrauds and get the stuff from Steve?

Cheers:Cool2:

Tricky
 

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Slagging off Haynes is ****** Mate, they have helped (ans saved money for) millions of people.
Your problem is your Mrs, she bought you the WRONG ONE !
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Saucer of Milk?

Without wishing to blow smoke up the proverbial, I have over 18 years experience in the engineering community, and since before I even qualified EVERY engineer I have ever met has referred to it as 'The Haynes Book of Lies!' I believe it is a colloquial term of endearment.

Please, step down off your hobby horse and realise the remarks about Haynes in my post were made in jest.

Should you wish to post a more constructive comment as to which manual we should have purchased it would be most appreciated.

If you cannot, may I respectfully suggest you stop lowering the tone for the 99.9% of helpful people on the forum.

I would accept the charge of '******' if I was actally talking crap, but in my job and elsewhere on several online VX forums, you will find many people refer to it as I have.

The manual number is we currently have is 3758. If anyone can HELP me with the manual number for the GSi I would be grateful.

Many thanks for your valued opinions!

Tricky
 

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Haynes manuals give you about 70 % of an idea of how and what needs to be done about 90 % of the time. You buy it for the right car,model, type and year and there is always something different on your car than in the book and 9 times out of 10 it's the bit you bought the book for. The only way is a genuine workshop manual with updates.

I only learnt to spell WARRANTY since I bought a Vauxhall.
 

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EVERY engineer I have ever met has referred to it as 'The Haynes Book of Lies!'
If you think it's full of lies, then why are you wondering whether it'll be any good for your Zafira. After all said and done, if it's full of lies it won't be. Also seeing as it's for the Zafira-A and not the B, there are going to be differences anyway.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
If you think it's full of lies, then why are you wondering whether it'll be any good for your Zafira. After all said and done, if it's full of lies it won't be. Also seeing as it's for the Zafira-A and not the B, there are going to be differences anyway.
I didn't say I thought it was full of lies, I said all the engineers I know refer to it as such. Much along the lines of people referring to Ford's as 'Fix Or Repair Daily' or Full Of Rust and Dirt'.

I am positive that there are many Ford's out there that aren't full of rust and dirt and dont need fixing or repairing daily!

If you are unsure of the term 'colloquial', please visit the Oxford English Dictionary - it will be there under C.

I realise there will be differences between the Zaf A and B, however I am fully aware that the GSI (Zaf A) was brought out in late 2001, and production swapped in 2005 to the VXR (Zaf B).

So, as it says on the front cover 'February 1998 - April 2004' and it was sealed in cellophane, there wasn't a manual that said 'Zafira GSI' and the fact I have only had my GSI for a week, we assumed (foolishly, apparently) that my GSI would be included in the 6 years the manual alleges to cover.

Haynes book of lies you say, however did it get that reputation?

Tricky
 

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anyway, i belive haynes have a 3 year waiting list from when a new model rolls off the production line to the manual being released (i may be wrong, but that is what i have been told) your best bet is to look on the haynes website http://www.haynes.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/StoreCatalogDisplay?storeId=10001&catalogId=10001
look through that for your book, if you cant find your one, email them on the "contact us" section, they usually get back to you same day or next day. but be specific with your details i.e, year, make, model, engine size, and fuel type.
 

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no problem. just had a quick look myself, and could only find the one. but now the book should at least be in the production stage so they should be able to give you a rough release date
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Slagging off Haynes is ****** Mate, they have helped (ans saved money for) millions of people.
Your problem is your Mrs, she bought you the WRONG ONE !
Below are what the Haynes manual says, and a translation into what it invariably means:

Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise.

Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start. Now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.

Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...

Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (giant economy size).

Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: PINGGGG - "Where the hell did that go?"

Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part (and maybe a plaster or two).

Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it.

Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken, it's about to be. We warned.

Haynes: One spanner rating.
Translation: An infant could do this... so how did you manage to f*** it up?

Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, teensy weensy number... but you also thought the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).

Haynes: Three spanner rating.
Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days.

Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You're not seriously considering this are you?

Haynes: Five spanner rating.
Translation: OK - but don't ever carry your loved ones in it again.

Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on it, throw it at the garage wall, then find some molegrips and a hammer...

Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yes, just as I thought; it's going to need a new one"

Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to suffer deep abrasions.

Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.

Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.

Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed.
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking pit of your stomach feeling has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.

Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence of removal.
Translation: Yeah, right. But you swear in different places.

Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...

Haynes: Using a suitable drift...
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: RAC Card & Mobile Phone

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Alternatively, clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book, barring what you need to do.

Tricky
 

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they no where near as good as they used to be i got one for my zafira to for the fuel and ecu problems, i used a tech 2 unit bought off ebay to get the codes but nothing in the manual helped at all.

Most of the time it just says take to dealer dont Haynes realise that jo pubilc can and will try and get round not using the dealers and thats should be the hole point of the manual so you dont have to use the dealers.

Dave
 

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finally one for the zafira b, hoorrah!!!
 

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Exspert

Haynes Zafria B manual (05 to 09) out this week. Ordered mine from Halfords £19.99 last week, collected today. I will be quite happy if it stays in the cupboard and I never have to use it.

Regards
Gary
 
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