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Well, some of you may know we have had my Grandmother staying with us on and off for several months, and most recently, a few weeks, she's 87, and basically given up living, she can't do anyting for herself, and its so hard seeing the once active, independent very much loved Gran now like this, its breaking our hearts :shame:

She will be going in a home next week, initially for a couple of weeks, and then we will take it from there whether or not she will be coming back to her Bungalow, here with us, or staying in the home.:shame:

Its been a difficult choice this has, and if it wasnt for myself, and my mother, she would of been in a home months ago. Other family members cant wait to get her put in a home, and they are already planning on getting there hands on Grans personal belongings, not to mention her money, which in all honesty makes me phyically sick, and very very angry.

Anyway, thats all im saying at the moment as my heads full :cry:
 

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you know my feelings mate and it must be a hard decision..

TBH i dont know what to say which is rare.....
 
C

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I'm sure it will be kinder on all concerned for her to make this move. People trained to deal with her needs, and others in the same boat as herself.
Old people are stubborn, but I'm sure after a couple weeks to settle in she'll be happy there.
:Cool2:
 

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Someone I work with is currently going through exactly the same thing with his Dad and has spoken to me alot about it.
A horrible choice to make, and one I wouldnt wish on anybody.

As for the people who cant wait to get their hands on you Grans stuff, thats beyond words. Heartless bastards.

Good luck with whatever you do choose :)
 

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Very sorry to hear the Micky, it's a shame when our family members lose their abilities. It's like losing them twice really.

Hope she made a will when she was able, that might well put the money grabbers in their place.

Keep your chin up.
 

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CallyT said:
I'm sure it will be kinder on all concerned for her to make this move. People trained to deal with her needs, and others in the same boat as herself.
Old people are stubborn, but I'm sure after a couple weeks to settle in she'll be happy there.
:Cool2:
Agreed there, I'm sure it will lighten your load which in turn will help as you will have more energy to cheer her up when you visit.
 

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Hi, I shouldn't be in this forum technically, but I spotted this thread...

We had the same scenario with my Great Gran. Most of the family wanted her in a home for the same reasons as yours, only the close bloodline wanted her home, at the end we couldn't manage and she had to go there. It was a sad day when her house was emptied and into it moved some of the family who didn't even know her well. She was the old lady in the corner at Christmas to them. Nothing more. She was my great gran.

It isnt much fun, to see a vibrant and amazing relative to go down a long, painful and often upsetting path, it won't be easy for you or your family in the time ahead either, no matter what the lie of the land is. Stay strong for the sake of them and your Gran, you've been very good to be looking after her in the first place, but sometimes its best for all concerned. See how it goes and she may even be happier.

I hope all becomes clear soon and that your decision will make for a good one.

It's not an easy time, it wasnt with my Great Gran, it was awful knowing that she just gave up on life, Alzheimer's and other illnesses, conditions and diseases finally put her to rest on September 4th 2005.

P.S. Really is bad crack for your family wanting rid of her, this happens far too much, people dont appreciate who they have nearly enough.
 

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CallyT said:
I'm sure it will be kinder on all concerned for her to make this move. People trained to deal with her needs, and others in the same boat as herself.
Old people are stubborn, but I'm sure after a couple weeks to settle in she'll be happy there.
:Cool2:
Well put! I must agree :Cool2:

I would also add that i admire anybody who looks after the elderly, whether at home for family or on a professional level in homes and hospitals :Cool2: It is something I could not do :shame:
 

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as tidzy said, you know my feelings on your Gran and relatives.

as said earlier today, concerning the other side of the home, speak to those in the know, mate.
they will put you right.

i really hope you and your mum/sisters/gran, come to the right decision for you all, and honestly, get yaself up her bungalow and change the fekkin locks for her. just down the road if a hand is required matey
 
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Atlantean said:
Well put! I must agree :Cool2:

I would also add that i admire anybody who looks after the elderly, whether at home for family or on a professional level in homes and hospitals :Cool2: It is something I could not do :shame:
Just to add, old people are stubborn, independent, bloody-minded etc etc (no bad thing) and hate to be a burden, and put people out.
Sure your gran would hate for you all to be put out (although you won't see it quite the same as her) and be happy to give you a break from it.
This is all true if listening to my nan go on is anything to go by :lmao:
 

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That really is a hard decision to make, now its made though it may well be for the best so don't feel guilty about it, some things have to be done. As to the greedy sods, don't let it prey on your mind, you have enough upset to cope with at the moment.......
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Thanks for all your kind words, and support guys, it means a lot to me.

99vectra said:
+1

Don't let them moneygrabbers take her possesions.
Things have already gone missing :shake: Changing the locks is on the cards.
 

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C3MKY said:
Thanks for all your kind words, and support guys, it means a lot to me.



Things have already gone missing :shake: Changing the locks is on the cards.
Thats really bad crack, I'd get that sorted a-sap.
 

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Must be a tought time for you Micky, and i dont envoy youhaving to make that decision. As others have said it *might* be for the best all round as she will get the level of care she rightly deservs and you guys will get the rest so when you visit you can give her everything you have if that makes sense.
Of course, you may not see it that way as easily as someone who is detatched from the situation. You may feel better about the home thing after she has been in a week or two and you see how well looked after she is.
I hope it all works out and im sure that you and your family will make the best decision based on her needs.
 

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dont really know what to sy mickey but sound like youve done an excellent job so far and doing the best thing,
cant really relate to it as all my grandparents died through different illnesses when i was alot younger but seriously sounds to me like her moving to a home will be best for everyone, but as said chages the locks in her bunglow etc to protect what is hers
:coke:
 

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Some of what I've read really annoys me.

My nan has been deteriorating for the past few years with something called PSP, it attacks the protein in an area of the brain, can't quite remember the details but it started off with a bit of loss of balance, then she couldn't walk from the living room to the car without help, and so it goes on. She's now in a nursing home and is being looked after very well.

That in itself is hard, I go and see her everytime I'm over that way (Norfollk).

If members of my family were doing what yours seem to be doing I'd be VERY angry and upset as well. And I wouldn't think twice about getting into the house and changing the locks either!

I know u will want what's best for your gran and will do what u can to look after her and her interests.

Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you matey.

Hope things are alright for you soon mate.

Simon
 

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Its always a hard decision weather too put a loved one in a home.....just make sure to check the home out thoroughly and make a couple of unannounced visits to check on ya nan as some of the staff who work in these homes are not suitable to be looking after the elderly...also there's the occasions where there isn't enough staff to care for all the Residents resulting in accidents.
My wife worked in a Bupa care home for a couple of years and witnessed far too many ""incidents"".

Dont want to make them all sound bad but its certainly worth checking them out very carefully.
 

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Having seen the home my nan's in and worked in a couple of other ones (servicing their nurse call systems) in the area I would STRONGLY advise going to see a few first!

i.e. we managed to find one of the good ones....
 
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